[Video of Audio 1]Stella do Patrocínio

Audio 1 (17:06) Beginning of page / audio[p. 41 – 00:00]

Nelly Gutmacher [NG] Tell us how long you’ve been here, at the Colony?

Stella do Patrocínio [SP] I’ve been, I think over twelve years.

[NG] How did you end up here?

[SP] Was travellin–

[NG] You’ve been here, at the Colony?

[SP] Twelve years.

[NG] How did you end up here?

[SP] I was a traveller, well-travelled, travelled a lot, liked to travel, liked trips. I travelled São Paulo, Petró… Rio de Janeiros, Petrópolis, Belo Horizonte, Minas Gerais… São Paulo, went from… went from… from, how can I say? Mauá Square to São Paulo on foot.

[NG] Really? How long did it take you?

[SP] One day and one night. Then, from Rio de Janeiro, from Copacabana, Ipanema, Copacabana, Ipanema, hmm… Gávea and Copacabana, Ipanema, Leblon, Gávea, hmm… Botafogo, Jardim Botânico, hmm… Machado Square, Flamengo to Central do Brasil Station, also on foot.

[NG] Who– Beginning of page / audio[p. 43 – 01:45]

[SP] Always on foot.

[NG] Who brought you here, to the Colony?

[SP] It was when Ana, this one in surveillance here and in any other places… it was when Ana found out I was in the street with Luiz. Me, Black creole negro broad. Luiz, Black creole negro guy by me. When he left me alone a little while to get food and I went without food, he sat on the chair, looked for a table, had a Coca-Cola and ate bread and sausage, and I was there standing at the bar with no food. I went out, he went out too, I lost the glasses, he kept the glasses, and this was Botafogo, Botafogo Beach. And then when, in the meantime, I… in the meantime, while I… I went without food and he kept the glasses, this exchange of idea, this exchange of wisdom, this exchange of cleverness, of getting ahead, of wisdom and cleverness, of getting ahead and… of wisdom, of cleverness, of getting ahead and of idea, in the meantime… in the meantime, he–

[NG] And what do you do here at the Colony? What’s your routine like here at the Colony? What do you do after you wake up in the morning?

[SP] Well… Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday; January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December; morning, afternoon, and night. I keep, I keep, I keep grazing at will, I keep grazing at will–

[NG] But– Beginning of page / audio[p. 45 – 03:49]

[SP] Like a horse.

[NG] Really?

[SP] Yeah.

[NG] Do you like that?

[SP] He already said: a man called horse, that’s my name.

[NG] Really? Ok, but do you like this life, Tereza?55Transcribers’ note: In the beginning of this first audio Do Patrocínio is at times referred to as Tereza. Tereza was also a patient who attended the studio. We believe there was some misunderstanding here. [Editors’ note: these notes were made during the very first transcription of these recordings by Sara Ramos, Natasha Felix, and Anna Carolina Zacharias].

[SP] I do.

[NG] You do?

[SP] I like to graze at will.

[NG] Really?

[SP] Just grazing.

[NG] Don’t you feel like doing something else? Beginning of page / audio[p. 47 – 04:09]

[SP] No, I don’t feel like doing anything else, just keep grazing; graze, graze, graze, graze, grazing at will. The good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep. Law is harsh, but it is the law, dura lex sed lex, on your hair only Gumex.66Editors’ note: Do Patrocínio refers to a piece of advertising for Gumex — Dura Lex Sed Lex no Cabelo Só Gumex (Dura Lex Sed Lex, for your hair, only Gumex) — mingling the Latin expression dura lex sed lex and the brand Gumex. The slogan was created by renowned Brazilian composer Ary Barroso while narrating a soccer match sponsored by Gumex in the 1950s. Playwright Oduvaldo Vianna Filho also staged a play containing the same expression in its title at Teatro do Autor Brasileiro in Rio de Janeiro in 1967. Credits can be found at the Ítalo Rossi Archival Collection at the Centre for Documentation (Cedoc) of the Brazilian Arts Foundation (Funarte) <https://atom.funarte.gov.br/index.php/dura-lex-sed-lex-no-cabelo-so-gumex> [accessed 22 April 2025].Hmm… Jesus Christ is the son of God as man. Jesus Christ died as man, because as God he could not suffer or die. Jesus Christ’s and baby Jesus’s parents are Joseph and Mary, already old.

[NG] Oh, is it? Now tell me, how about you? How do you feel about the work we do here, at the shed? I mean art, painting?

[SP] I think it’s beautiful, very beautiful. Very pretty, very pretty. Very, many pleasures.

[NG] Are you willing to participate?

[SP] I’m goofy, I’m clumsy.

[NG] Everyone can do it. Who said you need any ability? You don’t, you just have to feel like doing it, enjoying it, as you just said. Don’t you think it will bring you pleasure? Don’t you?

[SP] Yeah. Beginning of page / audio[p. 49 – 05:25]

[NG] How did you feel about the Santa Claus party we organized for you all here?

[SP] I thought it was beautiful, marvellous; I liked it, I was contented. I wished Christmas never ended.

[NG] Really? Was it that good then?

[SP] Yeah. I wished Christmas never ended.

[NG] But it must end, right? Every beginning has an end, right, Tereza? You know that, don’t you? Everything has an end, right? How old are you, Tereza?

[SP] Five hundred million, five hundred thousand, the age of the residents at the Jacarepaguá Teixeira Brandão Pavilion, my word was corrected, it is not Teixeira Brandão, it is Jacarepaguá Teixeira Brandão Pavilion.

[NG] Tell me, do you have relatives? Can you remember any relative of yours?

[SP] I was with the family… I was going from family to family in Rio de Janeiro, in the big cities I was working, at work and studying.

[NG] What did you do, what kind of work did you do… in Rio de Janeiro?

[SP] I worked at family houses, I did all that they needed, anything, after I finished my studies. She grabbed me at the district, said I had to be very domesticated, to be a domestic worker and work at family houses.

[NG] Did you like that work? Beginning of page / audio[p. 51 – 06:53]

[SP] I liked it… because it was laundry, ironing, polishing the floor, starching, cooking.

[NG] And you don’t feel like doing the laundry here? Cooking? Don’t you feel like doing th–

[SP] No!

[NG] Why?

[SP] Because I can’t stand it anymore, I don’t like it anymore.

[NG] You did like it, now–

[SP] Yeah–

[NG] You don’t like it anymore.

[SP] Don’t like it anym–

[NG] What would you feel like doing now? Suppose you had the opportunity to do something else, to lead a different kind of life and leave this place, what would you like to do? Don’t you feel like doing something? Making money? Don’t you?

[SP] I feel like making money!

[NG] There you go.

[SP] But not making anything ever.

[NG] But how would you make money, then, if you don’t do things? How do you think that could happen? Do you have any idea how you could make money without doing something? Beginning of page / audio[p. 53 – 07:55]

[SP] No.

[NG] You don’t, right?

[SP] Now, I have no idea.

[NG] Uh-huh… So you mean you feel like making money–

[SP] Oh! Making money without doing anything is to inspect, to be inspecting, it’s… surveillance.

[NG] Exactly, Tereza.

[SP] Spying.

[NG, laughing] You know things.

[SP] Make money but not do anything: surveillance, only spying.

[NG] Yes, exactly.

[SP] Surveillance, spying, and… high-end Pirelli.77Editors’ note: Do Patrocínio is probably referring to a TV or radio commercial of Pirelli brand tires.

[NG] I beg your pardon?

[SP] High-end Pirelli.

[NG] What does that mean?

[SP] The tire wheel I used to have, she put it in the body, inside the TV and it stayed there. Beginning of page / audio[p. 55 – 08:44]

[NG] Oh, I don’t think I’m familiar with that, I don’t know what that is. Can you explain it to me?

[SP] A truck wheel tire that took the trouble of being born there, inside!

[NG] Really?

[SP] And then go away, disappear with all of it.

[NG] Oh, ok. Now, tell me: if you made money, what would you do with the money?

[SP] I’d buy food, superfood for myself so I don’t go starving.

[NG] Are you starving here?

[SP] I am starving.

[NG] Is there not enough food for you here?

[SP] It’s pitiful like nothing, just pitiful.

[NG] Really?

[SP] Yeah.

[NG] But the other day I saw the group having lunch, I saw plates were full. Isn’t that so?

[SP] Well, you know… to be able to have food you need to always depend on a… a female, on every child of that female, on the female and on every child of that female, on any and all critters and animals of that female.

[NG] Really? Beginning of page / audio[p. 57 – 09:50]

[SP] Collect all, throw it all in, out, up, down, to one side, to the other, through front, back, mouth, eyes, head, skin, flesh, bones, width, through… width, height, through the whole body. [Long silence] I’m the one to suffer. I’m the one to feel sick.

[NG] Do you feel very sick?

[SP] I feel sick.

[NG] But you just–

[SP] Because I’m always having shots here, in the forehead, shots for men and the liquid skitters down.

[NG] Who gives you those shots?

[SP] The invisible secret police, the colourless.

[NG] Uh-huh. How about if you don’t want to have those shots?

[SP] Well I said I can’t see the invisible secret police, the colourless!

[NG] Oh, you can’t feel it from there, right? When they–

[SP] No.

[NG] They give you shots. Do they come every day?

[SP] Every day, every instant, every minute, every hour.

[NG] And what are those shots for?

[SP] To force you to be mentally sick. Beginning of page / audio[p. 59 – 11:04]

[NG] You’re saying those shots turn you into a mental patient?

[SP] Yeah.

[NG] Will you be cured when you stop having those shots?

[SP] I will. Completely cured. If I don’t take medicine, if I don’t have shots, or electroshock I’ll not be loaded with poison, poisoned.

[NG] Do you get electroshock?

[SP] I did at the emergency service in Rio de Janeiro and go on having it here.

[NG] Here?

[SP] Yeah, they said they do no more, but they do, they do.

[NG] They do? And who is–

[SP] They do.

[NG] Electroshocks are given here?

[SP] They… those working with phalanx, little phalanx, terminal phalanx. Those working with active, middle, reflexive voice, really reflecting on what they are saying.

[NG] Now, Tereza, tell me something: what did you study?

[SP] I studied in books, French, languages. ‘Comment allez-vous?’ How are you? ‘Thank you very much’,88Editors’ note: This was said in English. Vera’s washtub is full of touch. ‘Ça va bien?’ Are you doing well, Beginning of page / audio[p. 61 – 12:07] Mrs? ‘Ha to belder to you, ha to belder to you, ha to belder to you.’99Editors’ note: Probably ‘Happy birthday to you’.

[NG] Who taught–

[SP] ‘Ha to belder to you you.’

[NG] Who taught you English and French?

[SP] I was at school learning to read and write.

[NG] You went to school?

[SP] Yes–

[NG] Up to what grade did you stay in school?

[SP] I took a course in–

[NG] Did you go to elementary school?

[SP] Elementary, prep for middle high, middle high, course for teachers.

[NG] Oh, course for teachers, too?

[SP] Yeah.

[NG] You are a teacher, then?

[SP] I am not a teacher, but I took the trouble of studying letter by letter, phrase by phrase, page by page, and I took the trouble to–

[NG] Did you get married? Beginning of page / audio[p. 63 – 13:01]

[SP] Get married, how?

[NG] Were you married?

[SP] Married how?

[NG] Have you lived with a man before?

[SP] Lived with a man how?

[NG] Did you get married, lived with a man. Did you ever live with a man, with a partner. Don’t you know what to get married means?

[SP] To get married means… to get married would be to have a son for many days, week, month, whole year, like to have the house full and full of worries themselves, with partner and with children.

[NG] That’s it, yes, have you done that?

[SP] I’ve always been feeling bad, no good and worse. I never get any better in that.

[NG] Really? But you did not give me an answer. Have you been married? Have you lived as married to a man? Have you? Can’t you answer that?

[SP] I watched a lo– I was very well-travelled, I travelled a lot, in the trips. I was at the house of families, honest, decent, hard-working families.

[NG] Right, but how did you end up here? If you were busy working so much, you are very articulate, how did you end up here and never left, Tereza? Beginning of page / audio[p. 65 – 14:12]

[SP] I ended up here because they brought me from the Emergency Unit in Rio de Janeiro, Botafogo Beach, to here–

[NG] Uh-huh–

[SP] Sent, suddenly grabbed, walking in the streets.

[NG] Your family never came to look for you?

[SP] The Monteiro family is still around, came from far away to here. Changed name. The Brito Cunha family changed name, came here from Rio de Janeiro, but changed name. Brito Cunha family, Monteiro family, Lafayette family.

[NG] Are those the families you worked with?

[SP] Yeah.

[NG] How about your family, your father, your mother, your brothers and sisters, don’t you have a family?

[SP] I am indigent, have no one for me.

[NG] No one?

[NG] Oh, and neither–

[SP] No, because when I made something, ’cuz I gave birth–

[NG] Oh…

[SP] I was going up the stairs with a child, I still had light skin, I was white.

[NG] Oh, all right. Beginning of page / audio[p. 67 – 15:05]

[SP] I turned white overnight, or was it over day I turned white, I turned Black.1010Editors’ note: In Portuguese, the sentence contains a gender variation in which her position as female or male remains ambiguous: ‘Da noite para o dia eu fiquei branca [feminine adjective], ou se foi do dia para a noite que eu fiquei branco [masculine adjective], fiquei preto [masculine adjective]’. I know I took colour. I was formed from gases and I took colour. Then, I made a child on my lap, another one in a body without me knowing, I was making a small child of big size, healthy, I was also healthy, I was always to go up the stairs with two children and leave them at the apartment and leave, or else I’d go down the stairs again with two children. That was Rio de Janeiro, still Botafogo. I got confused, eating bread, a breadwinner.

[NG] It’s hard, isn’t it? But we must find a way for you to produce, to make some money, don’t you think? So you can do what you like, right, Tereza? Maybe we can do that with the work in the shed? We’re going to try, right? So, Tere–

[SP] I like to write, to make number–

[NG] Oh, that’s settled then–

[SP] On cardboard.

[NG] Ok, then, let’s mak–

[SP] Go on repeating what I just did in the day.

[NG] Ok, then, let’s do that. Next Friday… Today, we will watch a movie. Would you like to do that? The movie that’s about when we went to Parque Lage. Would you like to come with us?

[SP] Where? Beginning of page / audio[p. 69 – 16:30]

[NG] Right there, at the Pavilion.

[SP] I want to watch it.

[NG] Let’s go over there then, and next week you start your work.

[SP] I want to write on cardboard only–

[NG] All right, then–

[SP] As I was writing–

[NG] All right then–

[SP] When your other mates arrived–

[NG] All right, then–

[SP] And taught me, taug– set me up, gave me cardboard, pencil so I could write.

[NG] So, next week you will write on cardboard, with a pencil. Are we agreed on that?

[SP] Yes.

[NG] So, can we go and watch the movie now?

[SP] Yes.

[NG] Let’s go.